The Struggles of Having Two Homes


Kaylin S.

Going through a divorce is hard, not on just the parents but the kids too. Divorces happen in many families including mine and the change is most often difficult for the family and has a large impact on the kids. Some parents get divorced when their kids are very young. Others when their kids are 10-18. The older the kids are the better understanding they will have of the situation. Divorces and breakups often happen because of family issues such as arguing, disagreements, and simply just not loving each other or no longer wanting to be in a relationship with that person. 

First of all It can have a big impact on the kids. They can be affected both positively and negatively. Some kids are glad for the change, but most aren’t. Going through a divorce can cause a lot of mental and behavioral issues. For example children can become angry and lash out because they dislike the situation that they are in. It can put kids into a depressive episode. Some kids believe that the reason that their parents got a divorce is because of them. They feel as though if it wasn’t for them none of this would have happened. The change can cause kids to lose focus easily and lose their motivation.This can affect their performance in schools. They can have difficulty adapting to the change. It can cause a loss of hope to eventually have a happy family themselves.Some kids are likely to pick sides and lose their relationship with one parent or just completely stop going to that parents house. Going through a divorce can cause trust issues. For example once the kid leaves one house they might wonder what is going on at the other house and if their parents are keeping secrets from them or lying about what is happening while they are gone.

Secondly the children can feel lost and confused. As they have nobody to talk to because it will start an argument. Parents often put their children in the middle of the arguments without even realizing. They make the kids the messenger and go back and forth to get information about the other parent or the other parents house. Children often feel as though they are forced to pick a side or as though they are going to get into trouble just for telling the truth. Some kids don’t want to go to one house, but have no say because they are too young. Others are old enough but too scared to stand up for themselves and make a change. 

Lastly when their parents start to date it can be uncomfortable for the kids. They may not like the person that your parents are dating. On the other hand you may really like the person that they are dating it just depends. If you are unhappy with the person that your parents are dating it can be awkward and uncomfortable for the kid. They can feel unsafe in their own home, or as though a stranger is in their home. The new person might have different style, ideas, or interests. You may feel as though they are changing your house and your parents. They may try to change things about your lifestyle which may be a good thing or be a bad thing. Sometimes when your parents start to date someone new that person has kids of their own which will become your step siblings. You may have to move to a bigger house to be able to have enough rooms for them. It will feel like you are being forced to live with a bunch of strangers. Some kids end up liking their step siblings, others not as much.

In conclusion there is typically more cons than pros when your parents get a divorce. There are lots of changes and new things that you will experience. It can be both a hard time and also easier than expected. You will learn to live with it even if you don’t necessarily enjoy it. You will get through it and just know that you aren’t alone.